Message Encrypted

(1)

Will you come with me to the party?
Yes sure, if you want me to
Which means you want to not?
No I do, isn’t that what I said?
Fine. I shall go alone

How do I look from the back?
I like the view from behind
You don’t like the front?
But you asked about your back!
You are insensitive by the minute

(2)

Are you free for a meeting this weekend?
I actually made plans
You mean to say the rest have no plans?
But you asked if I were free
What can I say; I don’t want work- life balance issues

Don’t you think this is a good idea?
I think it might work with some modifications
But don’t you think it’s brilliant as is?
Yes, there are pluses and only if we could add bits
You need to start thinking out of the box

(3)

Am not going to be home tonight
But you haven’t been home all week
I was, only if you and Mom spoke
But I have been home, not she
Will you not make this about you two again?

What is that on your naval, a piercing?
Mom, will you not freak out, it’s just a ring!
It’s not what girls from good families do
But, it’s what I want and it doesn’t even show
If you don’t listen I will have to let Dad know

(4)

Am thinking of breaking up with him?
Yes, you have been unhappy after all
So you agree, he is not my type?
No, I mean its about doing what you feel right
You say you are my friend when you won’t even advise?!

My mother in law poisons my husband’s ears daily
How do you know, did you hear them talking?
I just know, from the way they talk as if I am not there
Couldn’t that be because she can speak only Tamil?
Whose side are you on-her’s or mine?

(5)

That will be ten rupees for two lemons
So much for just two, last week it was three
Madam if I had money it would all be free
I don’t want it free, just give me the correct price
For the time I spent on two lemons, I should ask for thrice

I want to return this, it’s not fresh
But its rice, what do you mean by that?
I cooked it today, and it smelled like dead rat
This is the best quality basmati rice, how can it stink?
Now I know, this isn’t even basmati, that was the missing link

(6)

I will not be coming tomorrow, my nephew died
Oh! Am sorry, thought you said he died the last Monday
That was my niece, and that is an unkind question to ask
I understand but you have taken too many leaves
You can call God and ask who died, if you don’t believe

I have guests tonight; I want you to start early
I have kids to pick up from school; can I bring them with me?
We would need quiet, these are distinguished personalities
They will not talk; I will just give them something to eat
And if they chatter, will you come appease my guests please?