For the peace of my mind!

The only intent of writing this piece is to distract myself from a certain war that is raging within.It is ironic how one keeps feeding on the very things that are leading to a miserable state of mind.A certain level of masochism always prevails,leading to sympathy for self,followed by tears,that in turn followed by self counseling which in the end leads to the psychobabble that i am writing about.

In the past i have obseved that in relation to the self,the things that affect it the most are the ones that are paid attention to.What is most interesting about this is that whether the relation is a positive or a negative one is immaterial.So one might be humiliated to the extreme by a cause and yet devote all the time and mindspace just to that.This in itself is a viscious circle,the output always being loss of self esteem.

Now one might wonder why on earth am i going on and on about this dreary subject.Well,the answer is simple my friend.Analysing a trouble to its shreds might not ward it away,but it definitely makes it look less troublesome!So Socrates and Plato had the most troubled lives,but poor creatures never realised it because they never saw the trouble as a whole.It was always such a microscopic view of the problem that it led to its percieved oversimplification.

Let us take an example:You are pissed about the fact that your relationship/s suck/s.Now if you were to look at this as a whole,it might mean the end of the world or atleast the current peace of mind and the most disastrous thing-self blame.But lets analyse the problem.Relationships are what?The way two people relate to each other.Which in essance means the way one person relates to the other person's likes,dislikes,habits,past,present and more.Which means,it takes two people to relate to each others' very complex set of affairs.This in turn means that even if one person fails to relate to even one very important aspect of another's being,it will lead to issues.Since the probability of this happening is so high,blaming the self or the other is of no consequence since relationships in themselves are a very tricky affair to handle.

There you see,in those few lines,i have absolved the person who screwed up with your happiness(so you might be at peace since as i said before the dedication to a cause leads to more troubles than the cause itself ).I have also absolved you of any guilt that you might feel for the disastrous relationship because in the end it takes two people to make a relationship work(am sure that statement must have been pronounced a million times and so must be true).

Ok.The objective of this disaster has been satisfied..am feeling better.

Clueless...

Seething with insanity,
Unseeing,filled with repulsion.
Lost,groping within.
Dead,in the effort to not feel.

Not that i deserve this
Not that i called for it
Except that the "it"is what i want the most
The "it" is what i fear the most.

The "it" is what i lose my sleep over
The "it" is what i am clueless about!
Clueless!
Pathetically Clueless!!