u do friendship with me?

Orkut is an odd and mysterious creature. To some, the social networking giant is a way to keep in touch with whats going on and having everyone you know at your fingertips. Well, the Internet is a creature in of it's own and when it is combined in a melting pot with your social life there are bound to be horrible consequences.

Here is a guide to aid you in friend selection to make your life easier:

1) U do friendship with me

I am almost tempted to reply - Sure..will ya plz tell how on earth do i "do" frienship--is it like "doing" drugs..or "doing" u know what!!!!.But its prudent to stop just in time cuz any activity on your part (at times rejection of the freind request or ignorance of it is also percieved as an activity)will instigates him/her(usually him) further..

Variants of this kind - "Cute(or whatever) name(or whatever)-u my friend?","tumhara chehra dekha to laga..(some such bullshit shaayari)",etc


2) the girl from school that gave you a hard time.

I always add these because it makes me feel better when you find a picture where they're much heavier than before. Jack pot if they've given birth four times within the last five years, married their childhood sweet heart promptly followed by divorce, or still work at mcdonalds 10 years later.


Life is so cruel sometimes.


3) the guy you've never met but share 115 friends in common.

You are dead positive that you've never met them before but it seems that, according to the laws of the universe, you should have met a billion times and have become best buddies. He's adding you because he has heard about you through cute anecdotes from friends and after having your name repeated and drilled into his brains he is sure that you've met and are kindred spirits. Don't add him until you meet him, don't perpetuate the lie that you're actually friends because every time you see an update from this guy you'll have the momentary "Wait, who the hell is that... oh right, that guy" moment followed by guilt for tainting your friend's list.

4) The "Hey, you look hot" creepy, old man.

If you look through his friends list, every person on his list either shows a bit too much cleavage in their photos or are just down right camera whores. Usually, the perp is at least 20-30 years older than everyone on his list and most of his scraps consists of "who the hell is this?" and "HOW DID YOU FIND OUT WHERE I LIVE?". You shouldn't add him, he just needs to have some one tell him that some porn site is a free service that can scratch that itch in a way that orkut cannot.


Orkut: A great way to meet people that are registered sex offenders.

5) The bleeding heart.

She's a girl you've met once during a save the (insert your favorite cause) meet..that you weren't really attending, you just needed to get to the other side to get a vada pav. This is the girl that you don't think twice about adding as a friend because you think "What's the harm?" WELL, what you should have known is that orkut isn't just a social network site for her but is really a way to let every one know about every cause known to man in the form of group invites. It will become obvious when you log in and have 13 invites to random causes ranging from "Save the fly" to, but not limited to, "Stop the gross mistreatment of grass in Dombivli".


PETA! You should be ashamed!

6) Your relative

Yeah..Blood is thicker than (insert your favorite liquid) ..but the breed is not worth the add because they will expose you to every relative ever related to you by whichever thin decaying irritating vein of the family tree branch!


7) Your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend

Is she kidding? ... yes, she must be... ummmm, is she planning to destroy you via the internet? You can't afford to not add this person because if you don't then the gossip will fly and you'll appear as the jealous, crazy bitch. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer